A simple mindset shift to overcome mum guilt

This week was a juggle. Half-term at home in London, working most days, and managing the kids—too old for clubs, too young to be left to their own devices. My husband was away in Miami for work, and we had a decorator in all week. Exciting in the long run, but disruptive in the moment.

The reality? Too much screen time, rushed meals, endless snacks. And the inevitable result: peak mum guilt.

The vicious cycle of guilt

For me, that guilt quickly turns into stress—the constant feeling that whatever I’m doing, I should be doing something else. And then comes the vicious cycle: I get stressed, I get snappy, then I feel guilty for being snappy, which only makes me feel even less like I’m getting it right.

Sound familiar?

Reframing the negative thoughts: a simple exercise

Over the years, I’ve found ways to pull myself out of that spiral. One of the most helpful? A simple mental exercise I do every day: I list three things I should be proud of from that day —and, crucially, what they say about me. It’s a way of retraining my brain to see what I have done, rather than fixating on what I haven’t.

Often, these are small, good choices that might otherwise go unnoticed or be taken for granted. For example, taking the time to play that board game I hate, cooking a nutritious meal despite the temptation to order a Deliveroo, or praising my son for being kind to his brother. These small choices prove that I’m a caring mother doing the best I can. And while I don’t want a medal, it’s unfair to myself to disregard them and only remember the tricky moments.

It turns out, there’s science behind this. This practice aligns with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) techniques, which focus on shifting negative thought patterns. The Three Good Things exercise, for example, encourages people to write down three positive experiences each day, helping to rewire the brain towards gratitude and self-compassion. Research has shown that regularly doing this can improve well-being and counteract feelings of guilt and stress. (Therapist Aid)

I’ve done this every day for years, and I genuinely believe it has helped rewire my thinking—from not enough to good enough. And, let’s remind ourselves: good enough is good enough! There is no need to aim for perfect. Especially as a working mum, where the pressure to get everything right can feel overwhelming.

If you ever find yourself in that same spiral, try it. Three things. Every day. See what happens.

Fran